All of a sudden I understand that whole "needing a change" thing. I don't think I like where I am, and I need to somehow move forward. Not sure how to do that, and I'm afraid to end up doing a 180 in the wrong direction. My sister was right the other night in something she said to me.
And my new crush is Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything (John Cusack). I think I was supposed to see that movie in Peter's living room about 7 or 8 years ago, but it's never too late. Yeah...
I can't wait to leave for my mini vacation. I have a lot of thinking to do.
spacebot - 2:54 PM
Monday, April 22, 2002
I love gambling. It's really my only addiction, and I'm not out of control or anything, so I suppose it's still normal.
This weekend, I will be headed to Disney World. What fun! I haven't been there as an "adult" yet... so I'm sure it'll be much different than I remember. And I haven't spent time with my friend Robert in well over a year, so it'll be nice to play catch up.
But Thursday evening will be where it's at.
My co-workers have way too much fun flipping through my Victoria's Secret catalogues.
spacebot - 8:52 PM
Sunday, April 21, 2002
Why are some people so obsessive? It's really creepy. Does anyone know how secure this htpasswd really is? How do you keep creepo stalker types out of your life other than living hundreds of miles away and password protecting your weblog? Tell me.
As my dad would say, "man o' manichewitz!"
I really like the spinach alfredo (with mushrooms) thin crust pizza from Papa John's. Not bad at all for chain store pizza.
We watched the fireworks last night from the roof of my friend's house. I really do hate crowds, so it was worth not being able to see them as well.
I finished doing some image editing/graphic design work for a friend's pay site, and I'm really happy with what I came up with. Can't wait to see my images when they're put online.
Time to go home...
spacebot - 6:37 PM
Saturday, April 20, 2002
Two things: I cleaned up all the broken links that happened due to switching this weblog to a new directory (let me know if you find any broken links that I missed), and Happy 4/20! I guess you know what I'll be doing later tonight. ;)
I should call my buddies over at Wonderland in Philly...
spacebot - 1:01 PM
I really like this whole password protection thing. Had I known it was this easy to set up, I would have put up some sort of pay site ages ago. Gooooooooo apache!
Mike and I went to the riverboat casino a few nights ago. He won a bit, and I broke even. We played for hours, and I had lots of fun. I think I may bet higher denominations next time so when I double my money, I'll walk away. I didn't walk away this time because doubling $40 on $5 bets was no big deal. We're low rollers.
Tonight is Thunder (huge fireworks display) and I really hope it isn't going to rain. I have been looking forward to seeing it for months.
House cleaning will be priority #2 this week. First priority is getting a fan, as it's 85 degrees in my apartment.
spacebot - 12:26 PM
Thursday, April 18, 2002
Big news: As I'm sure you can tell, I have password protected the weblog section of my site. If you're my friend or a co-worker, you were most likely emailed a username/password. If I forgot someone and they mention it to you, it doesn't mean that I don't want them to read it. Just tell them to email me if they want a password. I basically just want to know who is reading this. I don't think that my life is the business of lurkers or of people who are just spying.
I had a great day yesterday. I love getting in shape! My friend Jon and I went to the gym and lifted weights (I'm starting to get obvious muscle tone now), then went swimming, and then went on a 5 mile bike ride around the highlands, up hills, etc. As the Coug says, "hurts so good!" Then we got the best ice cream I've had in a while. I had raspberry chocolate chunk on a waffle cone. Oh my!
I have two pretty cool exes. One of them gave me a glow in the dark devil ducky last weekend, and another... well, you know why. Thank you.
There is a nice girl that I see on the bus every few months, and we have been trying to get together to hang out. I hope that she and I will be riding bikes sometime this week. The weather is perfect and I don't want to lose a single day.
In my world, rules of mathematics don't necessarily apply. One thing remains constant even after having been made into a variable. Talk to you tonight.
spacebot - 4:48 PM
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
Well, I learned a lot about a few of my old friends when I was back in Philly, and I'm happy to say that I've been making better choices lately... and it's not a bad thing to have fewer people to visit on short weekend trips. Maybe I'll get into it more later, but for now I'd rather focus on other things.
Other things such as the package that was waiting for me when I returned to work. It was filled with a handful of photos that we took of each other, as well as a three page handwritten (!!) letter. I think I melted into the floor like a dropped ice cream cone on hot pavement. Too bad we don't stock extra absorbant Bounty in the kitchen...
I want to go to Atlanta. Now. Even if I could only see him for an hour, it would be worth it. Why have I grown too practical to do such a thing?
We have a pretty cool new co-worker to make up for the obnoxious one. Wish Tim a happy first week at work.
I had only two matching numbers in my NJ lottery "big game" tickets. If anyone knows if that means I may have won 5 bucks or something, let me know.
If it isn't raining, I will ride my bike to work tomorrow, for sure.
spacebot - 3:53 PM
Sunday, April 14, 2002
Oh wow... look what today is. Six friggin' years... goddamn. I'm going to try to pay him a visit since I'll conveniently be in that area today.
spacebot - 11:38 AM
I'm in town right now. I have seen a few important friends and will be seeing just a few more prior to departing. Rory and I went to Gianna's Grille and Abyssinnia (and visited South St.), Renee and I went to Kingdom of Vegetarians, and Jesse and I went to Horizons (and bowled a few games). Peter and I got to hang out for a bit, but food wasn't involved, unless you count Desperately Seeking C. I think I want to go back to Abyssinnia before I leave, as the food is excellent and the waitress actually missed me.
There isn't too much I like about this place besides the food.
My mother and I went to the mall after getting our eyes dialated, which was pretty funny. I had to wear those slip-behind-the-glasses wannabe sunglasses. I had a good time aside from feeling dizzy. My mom looks really good... I hope I look that hot when I'm her age.
I miss John more than anything. I appreciate him more every time I spend time with other people, as weird as that sounds. It's just that I always enjoyed his company more...
spacebot - 11:31 AM
Tuesday, April 09, 2002
Leaving work and heading off to the gym. It's all about a good workout.
spacebot - 6:00 PM
Monday, April 08, 2002
Last night and today were emotionally draining, to say the least. It'll get better, I'm sure, but I know that my apartment will feel empty for a very long time. It's not like I just need to fill the space... it's that the right side of the couch and the bed both belong to him. And that last beer will likely still be in the fridge by the time he visits.
Mike will be here to pick me up in a matter of minutes. Hopefully we'll go to the boat soon for some good, old fashioned gamblin'. I leave for Philly in a few days, and I'm not looking forward to it all too much. I guess it'll be a good way to clear my head and come home more appreciative of the town I live in.
spacebot - 10:36 PM
Friday, April 05, 2002
I feel like utter shit. I have been sick to the stomach for a good 10 days now, and my nerves are over the edge. My mom thinks it's because of the boy leaving this weekend, but I'm not sure if that's completely the case... even though it's finally starting to hit me and I can't even explain the level of my sadness.
I bought a new bike, and I hope no one steals it this time. I'm thinking of making a laminated note to attach to the lock that says something like, "Please don't steal this. My terrible vision doesn't allow me to drive, and this bicycle is all I have to get around. Thank you!"
I can't believe that my one constant source of good times will be gone in less than a day and a half. I don't think he has any idea to what extent I care for him... but I don't even have the energy to fight for what I want. I'm just going to watch him slip away and hope he returns.
I just called a cab, speaking of no energy... I didn't think I could make it to the friggin bus stop.
spacebot - 8:58 PM
